Gerry, the love of Holly's life, her friend, husband and lover, has died of cancer. Bereft, indignant at the unjustice, and most of all mired in a morass of darkness, she is grief stricken. Everywhere she turns she remembers her life with Gerry and mourns that it is no more. She is filled with regret for the time they lost and the opportunities she wasted - the arguments, time spent with other people, that they hadn't started a family. Her parents, siblings and friends try to be supportive, but nobody really understands what it's like. This isn't something that can be fixed by a brisk walk in the fresh air, or yet another cup of tea. And though they might all be ready to move on with their lives, her life is effectively over.
And then her mother tells her that there's a parcel for her, with the enigmatic note "the list" on the front. She, Gerry and their friends had a joke, before he grew ill, about leaving a list of things to do for those left behind. But Gerry was almost never alone in his final months - when would he have had the opportunity? It couldn't be from him...
Knowing Holly as well as he did, Gerry wrote Holly a series of notes, one for each month starting eight weeks after his death. In each note he sets Holly a task to help her move forward with her life after his death, and opening the notes each month gives Holly a purpose and something to look forward to.
For Holly, who has days where she can't get out of bed, let alone worry about her job or something to eat, her loss is as big in her life as her love for Gerry, a situation that her loved ones are at a loss to help with. As a society we tend to shy away from grief, even more so that death, and the nakedness of other people's grief is overwhelming and disquieting.
This is a particularly compassionate and well written portrait of grief. It is also surprisingly uplifting and rewarding, and Ahern manages to veer away from the rather predictable ending I expected. The description of Holly's experience is deft and sympathetic, and the frustration of her loved one's inability to help is palpable. I found Holly's journey, particularly the shift in relationships with her siblings, to be interestingly and beautifully depicted.
The novel addresses, in the later sections, that Holly is not alone in having suffered a devastating loss, and we get to hear from Gerry's friends. As their friends begin, inevitably, to move on with the events in their own lives, Holly is only prompted into action through Gerry's notes. I think I fell a little in love with him myself - his love for Holly, his thoughtfulness and planning are palpable, and serve to illuminate Holly's despair even more clearly.
I've made it sound as though PS I Love You, is depressing
. Although parts of it are unquestionably dark, the novel overall is uplifting and joyous, without sacrificing realism and without resorting to expediency or predictability. I really enjoyed the process of reading this novel – Alex
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