Some people who have experienced the death of someone close have vivid dreams about them; sense the strong presence of the dead person (or pet); smell a distinctive scent; or see butterflies or other creatures. In this book Heathcote-Jones, apparently a journalist, whose previous books include Seeing Angels, Psychic Pets, and They Walk Among Us, (sao you know what you're getting yourself into) has collected dozens or more of these experiences, which some believe are deliberate messages of comfort from beyond the grave, also known as After Death Communications (ADCs)
Heathcote-Jones has separated them into thematic groups that include: visions at the point of death (either a vision experienced by the dying person, or a visitation from the dying person to a relative unaware the person is dying); dreams (or “sleep-state ADCs” that are categorised as being extraordinarily vivid); symbols (like butterflies and wind) and signs (like stopped clocks); non-visual senses (scents, auditory communications, strokes or embraces), among others.
Apparently most of the people who experience ADCs feel comforted and at peace as a result of their message, and if that helps them in the grieving process it’s all to the good. That said, apparently somewhere between one in five and one in seven experiences are negative but underreported. There are, sadly, none of these more interesting stories compiled in After-Death Communications.
This is not an academic investigation, in that there is no critical analysis of these communications, merely a reporting of both the stories and of the Guggenheim After-Death Communication Project (a group I was heretofore unaware of). In her introduction Heathcote-Jones states that she has not had an experience like this herself, but was captured by the concept when she first heard of it, and felt compelled to bring this information to a wider audience. According to Heathcote-Jones “a shift is taking place... that is taking us away from science being the be all and end all, and into a more spiritual dimension. Anthropologically speaking, we have developed through differing eras – one of magic, followed by religion, then science… I would argue that, here and now, we are in the process of leaving the scientific era and heading toward a more spiritual outlook.”
Wow. Science didn’t get very long.
I’m not denying that the bereaved may have these experiences, and I certainly can’t categorically deny that the dead decide to visit some people, but I’m highly sceptical that these experiences aren’t a combination of wishful thinking and coincidence. Certainly people are more likely to be visited by dead pets if they rank their relationship with the pet as equal to or higher than other members of their family. My position is strengthened by never (in almost twenty years of being present while people are dying) seeing anyone reaching for loved ones not present, or talking to invisible persons who’ve already passed over, or being relieved by peace moments before death. Perhaps I’m just envious that none of the over a dozen people I’ve known well in my personal live have ever decided to send me a sign.
Or maybe they have and I just haven’t realised that thinking of someone around the anniversary of their death, or seeing a small host of butterflies, or having an olfactory memory unexpectedly waft by “is” a sign. But I have equally strong thoughts of people who are alive, have very vivid dreams that are unrelated to anything or anyone dead or dying, and get gustatory and olfactory ‘wafts’ that are unrelated to anyone dead.
Heathcote-Jones closes with a list of positive benefits of ADCs, all directed toward relieving the grief experienced by the bereaved person – expressing emotions, accepting death, “establishing a new relationship with the deceased loved one,” creating new rituals etc. There isn’t any discussion about what benefit there may be for the 14 – 20% (perhaps more, if they’re so underreported) people whose ADCs are unpleasant. Maybe I should be glad my dead loved ones have left me alone. - Alex
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